The Battle of Great Umbridge- Durham show game.

 Si morning dawns and Jim the painter turns up in his van to give us a lift with all the kit to the Durham show-  jouney a bit on the slow side stuck as we are behing a leaner drive who thinks 25mph is fast.  (If you want a van in a tearing hurry ask Jim its usually the only speed his does !) Not only was all the gear in the van but I your gentle Author and Andrew the Tekkie also availed ourselves of Jim's  kindness.
 Gear unloaded and we begin the set up when Floating Jeff arrives quicly followed by New Steve our laterst  member of the  T.W.A.T.S
 He catches us muching on the obligatory bacon buttie and surrounding a cup of cha.
 All's well ther then .
 So set up continues- interrpted by chaps who want to talk to me  as even though I'm not trading I do seem to be "on duty "as it were.
 One conversation concerns smaller shows of which more later- but all this takes time.
However on with the plot so  the game was set up and ready to go
 Here we see the orders of battle for the two sides .

The Battle of  Great Umbridge 1643.

A Scenario for Forlorn Hope.

 GOD SAVE THE KING!!   The Year of our Lord 1643 14^st June.

 We have ye rebels where we want them . They must  defeat our army to make their way back to London.

From Ye Lt-Generall of the Horse 14 th June 1643.

“Ye Horse are in 2 Brigades Not including His Mat’ies Lifeguard who are fit for service. As for ye others there are somme who will doe goode sevice and yt some who are but new Troops howsoever being mostly little gentlemen and their servants think themselves fine fellows of souldiers but yt they have seen noe service.”

From Ye Major-Generall of Ye Foote. 19^th May 1643.

“Ye foote are mostly fit for small service onsisting of 3 Regiments. Wee could wishe for more shott and there are few corselets among Ye Pikes.”

UNIT	TRAINING	CLASS	RATIO	No of Figs
His Mat’ies Lifeguard of Horse.	GALLOPERS	TRAINED /ELITE	--------	12
The Earl of Carnavons Regt. Of Horse	GALLOPERS	TRAINED	--------	24 in 3 TROOPS OF 8
Sir Thos. Astons Regt. Of Horse.	GALLOPERS	RAW/ELITE	-------	8 in a single troop. Carnarvons Brigade
Lord  Northamptons Regt of Horse	GALLOPERS	TRAINED	-------	24 in a 3 troops.  Part of Gerards brigade
Sir Nicholas Crispe’s Regt of Horse	Gallopers	Trained		8in a single troop  Gerards Brigade
Col Chas. Gerards Regt. Of Horse.	GALLOPERS	RAW/ELITE	-------	16 in 2 Troops
His Mat’ies Lifeguard of Foote	-------------	TRAINED/ELITE	2to1	48
Lord N’thampton’s Regt. Of Foote	-------------	Trained	1 to 1	44
Sir Wm. Pennyman’s Regt. Of Foote	--------------	TRAINED	3 to 2	52
A culverin	ARTILLERY	TRAINED	------	1  heavy gun   5 crew.

LEADERS.

Prince Rupert of Ye Rhine Ld Generall  lv2.

Colonell Sir Chas Gerard.   Lv1

The Earl of Carnarvon. Lv1

 Sir Jacob  Astley Major- General of Foote LV1- Foote only

. And May God Have Mercy upon Ye for Ye UMPIRE shall nott.

The Royalist left early on in the day. Parlaimentry cavary have just descended from ther ridge.

For God and Parliament!! The Yr of our LORD 1643       June. 14^st.

Ye malignants  bar our return   to London If yt please ye Almighty wee shalle prevaile. They are mightier in horse than wee but oure Foote are better menne .

As Lord General of the Forces of ye Rutshire Association yt is your task to engage ye malignants  and break past them to re4sume your marche to London

Your forces consist of.

UNIT	TRAINING	CLASS	RATIO	No of Figs
The Lord Generals Regt of Foote	-------------	VETERAN	2 to 1	96
Coll. Dezil Holles Regt. Of Foote	-----------	TRAINED	1 to 1	88
Commanded Musketeers from Lord Brookes regt. of Foote. Capt. John Lilleburn		Trained	1-0	17
The Lord Generals Lifeguard of Horse	CURASSIERS TROTTERS	TRAINED/ELITE	-----------	10
Sir John Balfours troop	Curassiers Trotters	Trained Elite		8
Col. Arthur Goodwins Regt. Of Horse.	TROTTERS (f)	TRAINED	-----------	24-  3 Troops of 8 figs each
The Lord Generals Regt of Horse	trotters	Veteran		9 in a single troop
Col. James Wardlaw’s Regt of Dragoons	Dismounted Dragoons	trained	1 to 0 may use open order	30   3 companies of 10 figs each
Trayne of Artilleie	Artillery	Trained	-----	2 medium  Gun 8 crew.

LEADERS.

Ye Ld Generall  Earl of Essex   lv 2 (Hey For Robin!

Ye Major Generall of Ye Foote  Philip Skippon  lv1.

Ye Lt. Generall ofYe Horse lv1. William Balfour .

The opposite flank- Royalist dragoon behind the hedge-,

And May Ye Lord of Hosts have Mercy upon you for the Umpire shall not!!.

So the scene was set for a tense battle 

Floating Jeff was the commander for Parliament and Andrew the tekkie and New Steve shared the Royalists It was pretty obvious from the start that both sides were being very cautious. Each Commnder began to feel the other very slowly....... perhaps I could have put that better  ... nevertheless the first blood went to the Parliamentarians who using their dragoons and Commanded shot advanced down their left through the close country surround Great Umbridge. The Royalist had left the way guarded by their only company of Dragoons and their single artillery piece- out numbered 4 too one the Royalist fought manfully but to no avail  the dragoons heading for the  tall timber at speed and the gun being captured.

It was at this time that a young woman entered the hall and shouted- did anyone here order Crumpet!
 I was gentle reader greatly shocked- I didn't think it was that kind of show ......

More Parliamentarians- seeing off those Royalist dragoons.

So back to the plot  on the other flank things got off to a slow start with a... deliberate ..(thats slow really) Royalist cavalry advance by their first line. The Parliamentarin success on the opposite flank even cause the Royalist General of Horse to detach a troop to cover the now somewaht expose Royalist Foot in the centre - who likewise were slow to get off their duffs. Floating Jeff did his best to hurry them along by bombarding them with his artillery  -eventually causing  Lord Northamptons Foote to halt  in something of a daze. However they rallied and the deliberate purposeful advance continueed- one pace at a time .....
 One the Parliamentarian right the Royalist horse finally put in some charges- around move 6 this, after a little re-ordering. Lord Carnarvon Horse charged the 2 troops of Goodwin's and the single troop of the Lord General's who   being trotters countercharged albeit with less dash. The cavalry fighting went on for 3 turns swaying back and forth  neither side being quite good enough- or dice lucky enough to break the other before the Royalists  began to bring up their supports. There was some truly mediocre dice rolling on both sides here and 48 cavalry fighting for 3 turns caused a total of 3 casualties .. or was it two? Anyhow it was a singularly bloodless combat.

Biff Bang Bash!!- what lord Byron called "pushing for a pretty space"

 Worse was to follow....
 The Royalist Foote had finally approached the Parliamentarian centre- their 3 regiemnets facing the Lord genersals 96 figures.  The Roundheads let fly  over 70 figures so 7 10 sided dice with a 40% chance per dice of a hit  Not one single casualty caused .. My Lord of Essex was heard to mutter
 "Kinelle"-
 it must be the family motto Latin or some such perhaps ....
  The Royalist  grinning with malicious glee now replied- his factors were lower- he had fewer shot and the Roundheads were in cover but still  48 figures let fly .... the smoke cleared ....  and again not a single casulaty caused..........
 At this point the Umpire- almost splitting his sides with laughter was completely non  plussed- not to mention gasping for a pint and this being a small event the traders were packing up- it was around 3.30 so the lads decided to call it a day- the most bloodless game I've seen for many a year.

The Infantry of both sides - the Royalists closing for the kil....  sort of ...

Now as for the show - as always it was a pleasant day- nice things were said about  our display by various chaps- which was kind- though upon reflection I should perhaps have used a slightly smaller table- perhaps dropping 2 feet from the open  right flank .
But that is for another time - back to the show  I bought a couple of books- one on the ECW of course- any increase in my period knowledge is no bad thing but otherwise  I couldn't find a thing to spend any cash on about half the traders were fantasy dudes of one sort or another and of the rest only Irregular have  seen the colour of my brass in recent years- and will again doubtless once I get back intoone of my 40mm projects - I need some cows and sheep.
 With the drive to  depressing homogeneity going on within the industry I wonder where smaller shows can go. Its not worth my while to trade at such small events as factoring in all costs its still going to be around £250.00 just to do the show so I'd need to turn over double that to break even- yet I still want to support this particular show so for me doing a game is the best solution and after all it was FUN- yes chaps in capaitals .... .. 
 there were 3 other games 1 of which I didn't see as it was with the bring and buy which I never went to
 of the two I did see both were WW2 I think- one on a snowscape the other a beach landing with lots of sea and not much beach- nice terrain though and some lovely ships and landing craft- never saw much action on either thiough- perhaps I  missed it ... No- one  seemed to be playing at either table when I went around.
 Phots- most of the phots were taken by Andrew the Tekkie the other 2

Parliamentry Infantry giggling in the bushes at the "sound and Fury signifying nothing in the next field.

 by me
 We'll go to Durham again next year- assuming we are invited- no idea what game we'll do  but it will be pretty and fun.... I wonder how many 40mm Wars of the Roses I can finish by next June ....?? .